Somehow A Teacher - A Play-By-Play Account of a Teach For America Experience

Hard Knocks Education

marcusnaramore — Sat, 07 May 2011 20:23:41 +0000

One of my students recently faced a parole hearing for his incarceration sentence. After spending time with the student and asking him tough questions, I decided to write a letter on his behalf to the parole board. I had a lot of doubts about doing this, because I was nervous that the student may revert to his old ways once he got his freedom back. However, he wrote this essay about his experience, and it was all the confirmation I needed. One aspect of my job is motivating my students, but often, they end up motivating me. This is an example of that.

….

Roughly four years ago I had a hard time making the right choices for myself, which made it incredibly easy to get caught up in the wrong things. Because of the decisions I made, I ended up getting arrested and incarcerated on several occasions. The system gave me numerous chances to change my negative behaviors, but I was too irresponsible to comply with tasks of probation or take life seriously, so they decided it would be best to put me away for an extended period of time in hopes that I would rehabilitate myself. After being arrested for the sixth time, I knew exactly what to expect the next time I had to appear before the judge. I was finally committed to The Division Of Youth Corrections (DYC) for 1-2 years and sent to Rite of Passage (ROP) on April 8, 2010 where I have spent the past year. Some call it jail, others say its a waste of time, but I believe that it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

ROP is unlike any other committed facility because it is dedicated to changing the lives of youth. It offers so much including, high school courses in which I earned credit for, athletics, vocational classes, treatment groups, and structure. Initially I had a hard time getting used to the program, but because I walked in with a positive attitude and a goal to get all I can out of this opportunity, I was able to successfully progress fairly quickly. Though I was able to progress quickly, there were many obstacles I had to over come in order to get where I am today. Motivation and focus are the key factors that kept me pushing every passing day.

The hardest part about being at ROP is having to swallow my pride and zip my lip every time I am confronted or disrespected by another peer. It pretty much happens on a daily basis, but I learned to ignore it by concentrating on what matters most to me, my freedom. Also, it gets lonely sometimes because even though the place is crowded with a diverse population of people, I feel like I have nobody to run to when emotions are in a fury, nobody who would hear me out. Those who seem as though they have an ear to confide in don’t really care;they’re just curious. I decided that it is best to just stick to myself, follow all the rules including the ones I do not exactly agree with, do what I need to do, and try to take as much as I can out of this experience in order to come back into the community as soon as possible. I have gained many new skills and a more rational perspective on life since I have been away. I finally realized that the grass is much greener on the other side, so what comes next?

Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome. I am going to change the channel from yesterday not to forget where I have been, but to always look forward to the future and to keep in mind the reasons I persevere. I have great potential, we all do, so with that in mind, I am going to challenge myself to reach it to the fullest. I understand that I have a lot on my plate at this point and age, but I also have a plan, a goal, and a clean slate, so I am going to keep pushing through; never being satisfied because when a man is satisfied he stops moving. It should not have taken this long or gone this far before figuring it out, but I did and now it’s very clear as to where I want to go. I am a strong supporter of the saying that everything happens for a reason, but the outcome of the inevitable is up to me to determine.

Life’s like a movie, write your own ending…..

…

After his parole hearing, his sentence was reduced from a year longer to 30 more days. I’m excited about this student being able to make his life all it could be with his newfound freedom, and I am optimistic that he will continue making the right decisions.

The Beauty of Failure

marcusnaramore — Tue, 12 Apr 2011 14:26:49 +0000

One of the most overriding themes in my two-year Teach For America experience is the essential nature of failure.

Growing up, I always thought failing was the worst possible thing that could happen. With failure comes shame, feelings of inadequacy, and a nuclear bomb to self-confidence. When I had the ball stolen from me in a basketball game, when I made a conversation with a cute girl extremely awkward, when I would hurt those I thought were closest too me, I felt like I was worthless.

This mindset instilled in me a tendency to take a cautious route rather than a risky route. While this decision enabled me to succeed on a moderate level, it prevented me from taking enough risks to achieve things that wouldn’t be possible with only caution.

When I was a senior in college, I was part of a senior project that was receiving a failing grade midway through the semester. I had never failed a class before, and here I was staring down the possibility of failing my senior capstone project. I was almost paralyzed by my fear of failing.

I distinctly remember talking to my dad on a Sunday afternoon about the project and the extreme amount of stress it was causing me. He shocked me when he said, “If you fail, it’s ok.” Everything in my body reeled at this statement. Failing was not OK! I had high standards! He had high standards for me! However, the longer I thought about it, the more I realized how empowering those words were. “If you fail, it’s ok.” If I truly worked at something and put my best effort in, it was ok to fail. With that empowerment, I was able to approach the project with a new sense of confidence, and eventually the idea that I could fail pushed me to succeed.

I’m teaching The Old Man and The Sea currently, and the story centers on a poor old man who catches the fish of his life, only to have it destroyed by sharks before he could bring it home. Despite not having anything to show for his hard work, the old man falls asleep with a sense of peace in the last page of the book.

This presents a poignant message to both my students and I. Happiness doesn’t stem from success. Instead, we can find solace in the fact that we tried our best, even if we did not succeed.

My students are terrified of failing. They are so terrified of doing something wrong, or being confused, or looking stupid, that they usually decide to forego doing any work at all. That way, they can avoid the pain that comes from being told that they didn’t get it, or the work is inadequate. One of the biggest missions in my classroom is to foster an embrace of failure, not from laziness, but from hard work and risk. When failure becomes an option, then students can take risks, learn from their mistakes, and actually learn. When failure is not an option, as every cliched movie general and coach has said, students leer away from challenges and the risk of failure.

While I try to instill this mindset into my students, I need to keep developing it in myself. One of the most beatiful parts of Old Man and The Sea is after the protagonist arrives on shore, with nothing but a carcass of the beautiful fish he caught to show for his work, he immediately begins planning for the next day, using his knowledge of his last failed adventure.

I fail a lot as a teacher. I don’t design lessons right, I have typos on quizzes, and I break promises to my students. One of the most crushing ways I fail is in relationships with my students. I don’t always have the maturity or patience I need with my students, and sometimes, when I am frustrated or disenchanted, I say things that cause a lot more harm than the intended effect of motivating my students to do better. This eats at me, and I can let it consume me when i have a failed interaction with my kids.

Like The Old Man, the most important thing I can do after failing is go back into the sea and try again; my failure giving me another modicum of wisdom for the next time.

I hope you figure out a way to embrace failure today.

The things that just make life easier.

marcusnaramore — Fri, 18 Feb 2011 21:17:01 +0000

I’m having my students print an essay in the computer lab. I’ve scheduled the lab two weeks in advance because it is harder to get into than Studio 54 in the seventies.

My students need this time, because most of them have had very little experience using word-processing software and their experience in this class is invaluable.

The printer runs out of paper, so I ask the lab tech for some more paper. She tells me curtly that she does not have any. I then run up to my room and take out my personal supply of paper so my students can get their work printed.

After lunch, I receive this heart-warming email.

“TEACHERS,

IF YOU ARE HAVING YOUR CLASS PRINT, PLEASE PROVIDE PAPER. I APOLOGIZE BUT WE DO NOT KEEP PAPER STOCKED IN LABS.

EACH TEACHER IS RESPONSIBLE FOR PROVIDING THEIR OWN PAPER FOR THEIR CLASS. SORRY!!”

Thanks. I will make sure to provide my own paper to the lab even though the school gets 4 million in funding. Thanks for all the help.

p.s. Can we chill on the all-caps? That is stressing me out.

No such thing as a stupid question.

marcusnaramore — Wed, 09 Feb 2011 20:59:53 +0000

“Mr.! Can I get extra time to finish my project since you kicked me out of class the other day for not wearing a uniform?”

Love love love high schooler logic.

Beautiful Beaurocracy

marcusnaramore — Wed, 02 Feb 2011 16:09:00 +0000

Photo from Denverpost.com

Today it is -17 in Denver. This is without windchill. Every school district in the Denver metro area is closed. Except for DPS.

Every morning on the drive to work, I see kids at bus stops wearing jeans and hooded sweatshirts, even on the coldest of days.

DPS sent out the following warning.
“Parents are being reminded to dress students warmly, in heavy layers, limiting skin exposure as much as possible. “

The median family income at my school is less than $35,000. These children don’t exactly have Mountain Hardware Puffies and North Face boots. Look at the picture above and tell me, do these kids look properly dressed for -16?

One of my students walked into class this morning, apologizing for being late. I told him it was no big deal, then asked him how he got here. He walked, obviously. No hat, no gloves. However, he told me he had his hood, so obviously it was no big deal.

Furthermore, in some half-hearted attempt at sympathy, the district has implemented a “modified attendance and tardie policy”, which asks teachers to excuse any absences.

What is the point of being in school? There are five or six kids in every class and our principal told us to modify our lesson plans since we would have so many absences.

From superintendent Tom Boasberg,
“Our schools also serve tens of thousands of children who come from low-income households. Schools are not only are vital places of learning for those students, but they are also in many cases the only place where these students get two free hot meals a day, health care, counseling and support services. We felt it was the right thing to do to give our parents the option of sending their kids to school.”

Oh, so we are just babysitters for parents who don’t have anywhere else to send their kids? Also, how come there is no mention of other low-income districts that are closed? Or the fact that we had a snow day yesterday, and didn’t have to babysit?

Could it be that the district gets some sort of bonus if they don’t reach a threshold of sick days? hmmmm…

Plans

marcusnaramore — Fri, 28 Jan 2011 15:44:21 +0000

I’m always tired after the last period of the day. Yesterday was no exception.

My weeks have been increasingly busy, due in large part to a GMAT class I am taking that requires 6-8 hours of homework a week as well as a three hour long class once a week.

This weeks stress was compounded by a 3 hour TFA seminar, district achievement tests being graded, a midyear conference with the principal, and my voice being gone for the fourth straight week.

I’ve been teaching my classes about evidence for thesis statements in persuasive essays as well as the difference of simple and compound sentences. I’ve thrown a lot of information at them and pushed them hard, which means they are tired and impatient, and I am mentally exhausted from explaining and trying to keep them engaged through difficult lessons.

With all of this in the back of my mind, I was approached for help by a student after the last period of class. He is a student who is on a low level and has figured out how to game the system in classes. He is respectful and pretends to know what is going on, but hasn’t handed in homework or done well on assessments. He has refused to ask for extra help, probably because he feels like it would be another check of humiliation in a difficult school history.

This semester, he has really built up his confidence, and is starting to ask questions and attempt the homework. Because of this, his grade has skyrocketed. All of this is important, because when he asks me for help with his homework at the end of the day, it is a rare opportunity for me to give him the remediation he needs.

The assignment is one of the most difficult i’ve given..students are supposed to create an anecdote, hypothetical situation, and an analogy for a thesis statement. I looked at his homework, and saw that he had awesome examples of hypothetical situations and anecdotes, but was struggling with the analogy.

“An analogy is taking an unfamiliar idea, and connecting it to a familiar idea”

He nods, but I can see he is lost. His thesis is that uniforms should be enforced at my school.

“What happens when someone can’t afford to get cool clothes?”
“They get made fun of” he admits

“ok..so think of another situation that is similar to that, and compare it to it”

“What do you mean?”

“Ok, lets pretend that I’m the reader, and i have no experience with uniforms or kids making fun of each other for their clothes. However, I have experienced people making fun of others for having cheap cars”

“So I just explain that kids make fun of each other for their clothes?”

“No..you need to compare it to something that the reader is already familiar with.”

…and this conversation went on for 4 or 5 minutes. I’m getting to the point of some cop-out statement, like “i”ll show you some examples tomorrow”, or “just hand in what you have right now”. He’s getting frustrated, and I can see all the years of frustration and disappointment in school creeping into his eyes.

I give it one last explanation, and his eyes get big and a smile happens on his phase. A CFL popping up over his head couldn’t be more obvious. He gets it. He starts to write furiously, comparing being made of for having cheap clothes to being made fun of for having a cheap car.

It’s a weak analogy, but it is a start.
…..

Yesterday, I met with my principal for a midyear conference. After discussions about classroom data and the next semester, he asked me what my plans are for next year.

I’m not prepared for this question.

“I’m planning on coming back next year. Teaching these kids means a lot to me, and I want to do it even more effectively”.

He is relieved and excited, saying that he is glad I’m coming back.

After leaving the meeting, I am a little shocked about my statement. The shocking thing was that I truly meant everything I said. Teaching these students does mean a lot to me, and I’m going to miss it a lot, warts and all when I leave.

Seeing a struggling student “get it” at the end of the day only enforced my belief that I think I am doing the right thing.

100 Million Dollars

marcusnaramore — Wed, 12 Jan 2011 15:19:00 +0000

There is a great article by Fast Company about how to “save” education.

Apparently, newfound philanthropist Mark Zuckerberg is the newest expert on education. (What makes him an expert? The fact that he has money, I suppose.) His ideas are disappointingly mundane and poorly investigated. (Charter schools, performance based pay, etc.)

This article points out some flaws in his logic, and then presents several more creative approaches from people who actually have some experience in education. It was inspiring to me..check it out.

http://vox.fastcompany.com/magazine/152/how-to-spend-100-million-to-really-save-education.html

How would YOU spend 100 mil to fix education?

Truth is stranger…

marcusnaramore — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 15:12:32 +0000

Dear Audience (you two or three people who read this every couple months)

I’m sorry I’ve been so terrible at updating this blog. With the new year comes new motivation, so I will be more disciplined in my writing.

The second year of teaching is so much easier than the first year. I have a lot more confidence, I feel a lot more skilled at explaining lessons, and most importantly, I’ve developed a much more relaxed atmosphere in my classroom with far less negative consequences. This has resulted in a lot more positive, motivated attitude from my students.

Anyway, all has been a struggle still, but a more meaningful struggle with many more positive moments to outweight the negative.

All that to say, I learned this morning that it is dangerous to play two truths and a lie with your students. (two truths and a lie is an icebreaker game where people say two truths about themselves, or in this case their break, and one lie, and the others have to guess which is a lie).

I found out that, over break, my students:

Broke a window in an abandoned house

Got drunk on New Years

Shot a dog

Ran over a dog

Got into numerous car accidents

Saw people getting killed in Mexico

And that was just advisement hour…

What A Relief

marcusnaramore — Thu, 09 Sep 2010 18:28:51 +0000

For a minute there, I thought I was going to have less than 40 kids in each of my classrooms. Thank goodness I am getting new students four weeks into the school year to get my roster sizes back up to 40.

The joys of public school

Motivation

marcusnaramore — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 14:09:26 +0000

Sometimes in the midst of reading stacks of essays, I get jaded to what my students have to say. Then I read an essay like this and I remember why I am doing this.

“One goal I hope to achieve in my life is to be a psychologist. This has been my life long dream ever since I was 12. A psychologist is a person who helps people with their problems. They are the clients support. I want to be that support.

What inspired me to be a psychologist or therapist was my grampa. My grandfather helped many people exspecially the poor. He never judged no one by their color he helped them because they needed the help. He always taught me that when you help people good things happen to you. On occasions I do believe that and others I don’t. What I do believe is that if you help a person they would get happiness out of it.

Since I was little I always loved to helped people. My life was very difficult as a child for (deleted). These things inspired me to become a therapist or psychologist and help people with those same problems. I have helped many of my friends with my type of situations and they have actually done great with my advice. I hope if I do reach this goals many people would have trust and confidence in me so they can know I’m here for them.

When I achieve this goal, which I know I will, I’m gonna touch many hearts and help a large amount of people. I hear many people say, “I’m gonna kill myself, why am I even here”, and that makes me feel horrible and lift up their self-esteam. Everyone is here for a reason to help the world one way or another and when I am a therapist or psychologist I hope to change their mind and make them achieve. My teachers have always pushed me to do good and with them I will do the same. I will also touch many hearts. I’ll make change in their lifes as others changed mine.”

I hope you find a reminder of the reason you started doing what you are doing today.